How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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