Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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