i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
