He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
