She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
