I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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