the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
