Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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