So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
