Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
