I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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