I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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