You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
