I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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