We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
