i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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