I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
