So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize