did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
