CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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