i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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