If i come over, it means nothing
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
