Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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