we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
3pm strippers are depressing
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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