he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
