Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize