I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
