I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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