At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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