so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
