I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
