Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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