Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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