I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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