I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
