i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
