she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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