I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize