Who did Billy Mays play for?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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