for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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