I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
