the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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