And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
