well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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