shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
