life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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