It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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