dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
