Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
