And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
