It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
