Your face is a jimmy john
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
