At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
