If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
