I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
