hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
