Non-Jews are for practice
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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