Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
