He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
