You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
