After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize