You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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