You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
