Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
