im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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