I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
