hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
