stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
