so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
