Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
