Only a mothe r could love this liver
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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