but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
