Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
