if only i could text you this smell
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
