her vagine was all disorganized.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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