you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
why is half of my head shaved?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize