well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
