I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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